April Cruise: 36th Circumlocution of Bainbridge Island
The April club cruise will be the traditional circumlocution of Bainbridge Island with boats anchoring afterwards north of Lemolo (east side of Liberty Bay). Steve and Elsie on S/V Osprey will be cruise leaders. Please monitor VHF channel 69 for club communications.
- Dates: Saturday and Sunday, April 23-24, 2022
- The Office of Circumlocution is proud to present The OPENING DEBATES of the
36th CIRCUMLOCUTION at 1000 hours, 23 April, 2022, on a line true west from
the West Point lighthouse and east of the VTS lanes. The debates will be argued
initially upwind from this line, then the Masters of vessels who have mangled the
administration of issues may choose to sail either north or south. Boats heading
north must leave the “SF” buoy on the far left as described below in Para 11, before
heading to Agate Pass, and shall be prepared to discuss the possible effects of global
warming. Boats heading south around Bainbridge Island have no marks and leave
no traces. The determination of the most clueless administrators will be made under
the power lines just past Keyport Naval Station and Underwater Weapons Research
- There will be three Platforms for Debate. 1) Smaller craft and gray double-enders
under 38 feet LOA (former Trump Cabinet members who were or are subpoenaed).
2) Half-fast, in mid-size craft (former administrators hoping to live in obscurity). 3)
Larger and/or those who think they are really fast (former Cabinet members who
claim the Biden administrators stole their cushy jobs).
- The first platform will start at 1000, the second at 1015, and the third at 1030.
Boats with more than one hull must wait 15 additional minutes for each additional
hull. Please monitor VHF channel 69 for any club communication.
- The Debates will be monitored by former Secretary of State Pompous Pompeo, who
will come out of silent obscurity to sound a single long horn blast at each plank
laying session except for the multiple hull boats. Protests must be registered in
advance the night before with prospective Supreme Court Justice Brown Jackson.
- Those vessels who have earned 2nd place in the past five years are not eligible for
2nd place. They may, in the enduring tradition of politicians worldwide, obfuscate
the discussion by coming in First, i.e., ahead of 2nd place.
- The following are frowned upon and are grounds for public scorn:
Failing to have at least one sail up starting and finishing.
Use of internal combustion engine(s).
Failing to sail the entire course on your bottom in your bottom.
Failing to navigate the entire selected course.
Failing to display a PSCC burgee.
- The HIGHEST and MOST VALUED Award will be given for SECOND PLACE.
First across will be nominated for Commodore for the 2022-2023 year.
- An award will be given for the BEST HORROR D’HOOVER. Judgment will be by
secret negotiations in the Raft-up described below.
- An award will be given for PERSEVERANCE. To qualify the vessel must cross the
Finish Line prior to 0001 hours on 24 April, 2022.
- The Nominating Convention will be a Raft-up for all boats north of Lemolo.
Powerboats with dance floors are encouraged to attend. The Raft-up will be the base
of the HORRORS D’HOOVER Contest and the Awards Ceremonies.
- As always, good candidates never travel in the middle of the nautical road. Cross
the middle of the nautical road quickly. See DBT COMDTINST M16672.2 Rule 10
(c). With regard to Buoy SF, you must stay east of the traffic lane until Buoy SF is
past your beam before crossing to the west side. Chart plotters will be audited. Do
not impede or force a WSF ferry or other large or government vessels in Rich
Passage (considered a narrow channel) to stop or change course. Doing so will
create hate and discontent amongst those who would rather see sailboats removed
from local marine waters. See DBT COMDTINST M16672.2 Rule 9.
- As directed by the DBT, in accordance with dicta from the Lesser State of
Washington, debaters must stay at least 400 yards ahead or behind, or 300 yards
beam of any Southern Resident Orca (SRO). You may approach Transient Orcas
(TO) within 100 yards (90 meters). If there is any doubt about whether the Orca is a
SRO as opposed to a TO, it is suggested that you examine their breath, as TOs are
mammal eaters as opposed to salmon eating SROs and therefore will not smell fishy.
- As required by the censorious Vice Admiral, the Office of Circumlocution points out
that the last two items are to be taken seriously. Admiral Jack Tar has meowed his
assent. The Bilge Rat stands censored.