April 2024

Join us for the 38th Annual Circumlocution of Bainbridge Island this April 27th and 28th. This is a fun annual tradition that includes prizes for 2nd place, a perseverance award, and hors d’oeuvres contest (Horrors, D’Hoovers) so bring your best appetizer. Race rules, (based on 2023 rules – credit to Steve Hulsizer!) are below. If you’re planning to attend or even just tentative, let us know on the PSCC mailing list.

Race Rules:

PUGET SOUND CRUISING CLUB

THIRTY-EIGHTH CIRCUMLOCUTION

OF BAINBRIDGE ISLAND

The Office of Circumlocution is proud to present

The OPENING DEBATES of the 38th CIRCUMLOCUTION OF BAINBRIDGE ISLAND

at 1000 hours, 27 April, 2024, on a line true west from the West Point lighthouse and east of the VTS lanes. The debates will be argued initially upwind from this line, then the Masters of vessels who have mangled the administration of issues may choose to sail either north or south. Boats heading north must leave the “SF” buoy on the far left as described below in Para 11, before heading to Agate Pass, and shall be prepared to discuss the possible effects of global warming. Boats heading south around Bainbridge Island have no marks and leave no traces. The determination of the most clueless administrators will be made under the power lines just past Keyport Naval Station and Underwater Weapons Research Center.

There will be three Platforms for Debate. 1) Smaller craft and gray double-enders under 38 feet LOA (former Trump Cabinet members who were, will be, or are subpoenaed). 2) Half-fast, in mid-size craft (former administrators hoping to live in obscurity). 3) Larger and/or those who think they are really fast (former Cabinet members who claim the Biden administrators stole their cushy jobs).

The first platform will start at 1000, the second at 1015, and the third at 1030. Boats with more than one hull must wait 15 additional minutes for each additional hull.

The Debates will be monitored by the Florida Governor DeSantis who will dash out Disney World to sound a single long horn blast at each plank laying session except for the multiple hull boats. Protests must be registered in advance the night before with Supreme Court Justice in Waiting Ginni Thomas.

The following are frowned upon and are grounds for public scorn:
Failing to have at least one sail up starting and finishing.
Use of internal combustion engine(s).
Failing to sail the entire course on your bottom in your bottom.
Failing to navigate the entire selected course.
Failing to display a PSCC burgee.

The HIGHEST and MOST VALUED Award will be given for SECOND PLACE. First across will be proclaimed by unanimous consent as Commodore for the 2024-2025 year.

An award will be given for the BEST HORROR D’HOOVER. Judgment will be by secret negotiations in the Raft-up described below.

An award will be given for PERSEVERANCE. To qualify the vessel must cross the Finish Line prior to 0001 hours on 28 April, 2024.

The Nominating Convention will be a Raft-up for all boats north of Lemolo in Liberty Bay. Powerboats with dance floors are encouraged to attend. The Raft-up will be the base of the HORRORS D’HOOVER Contest and the Awards Ceremonies.

As always, good candidates never travel in the middle of the nautical road. Cross the middle of the nautical road quickly. See DBT COMDTINST M16672.2 Rule 10 (c). With regard to Buoy SF, you must stay east of the traffic lane until Buoy SF is past your beam before crossing to the west side. Do not impede or force a WSF ferry or other large or government vessels in Rich Passage (considered a narrow channel) to stop or change course.

As directed by the DBT, in accordance with dicta from the Lesser State of Washington, debaters must stay at least 1000 yards ahead, behind, or abeam of any Southern Resident Orca (SRO). The Commodore for Life, Jack Tar, meows his assent.

The above paragraphs are to be taken seriously, as there are many NVOs (Non Vessel Owners) who oppose mere citizens using public waterways.

Note a new hazard in Rich Passage. In mid-April, 2023, a green and white hippopotamus came out of the woods and mucked about on a sand bar. With its enormous mouth, it is capable of eating small ships. It particularly likes sailboats because they come complete with toothpicks and dental floss. Note that these green and white hippopotamuses have enormous mouths on both ends of the body. Many of these beasts live in the shallow and muddy waters of Eagle Harbor.